So I don't know what to say to this

I can't help it. I can't stand it. I can't change it, and it kills me.

My schedule goes as follows:

Wake up at 6:15

School at 7:30

Meeting at 7:45

Class- 3:30

Marching band- 4-7:30

Home at 8:23

Dinner

Shower

Finally, at like 9:45, I start my homework.

I get to bed at midnight.

Repeat.

I have no idea how I am supposed to do all this and still graduate early. I am not stressed, I am so just so freaking tired. My mind doesn't work sometimes. Like today, in class, I feel alseep after a test. Yesterday, I fell asleep during notes.

And it is SO dumb because in first period, which is my only class with Sar, I don't even see her because we have like 57 people.

RAWRR.

Sorry, thank you for listening to that brief rant.

That is why I am leaving highschool and moving out and growing up.

But, bottom line, I miss you. I can't do this without you. And I feel like I don't see you. Sara, I am so sad (and a little jealous) that I don't even know you this year. I see you and say HI but there is no time to hang out. So we need to remedy this with a sleepover, okay?

I really don't even know what I am doing half the time anymore. I write myself notes and forget halfway through the day that I even wrote them. I have so many thoughts and things and every thing is fall out of the seems.

What can I do?

I need you.

Wait, my stupid online class is started.

I love you. Goodbye.

I just saw the title of this blog

And laughed.

In the fifth grade, I really wish I could have been able to spell.

I am Julia Falvey. I love you two dearly.

And if you ever try to drift away from me, your goose is cooked, your ass is grass.... all those funny things.

I like staying in touch with you, this is an amazing idea.

The other day, I found our Death Bunny Journals, and I have to tell you how weird it is to read them. We were so silly, so strange. I read when we stopped being friends with Marina, and we were so strange about it. I realize now that an essential part of my becoming the woman that I will someday be, I must credit to you.
I don't do my summer work.

Poop muffins.

Well, here is an honest poem that Sara wanted me to blog:

I lie sometimes

Make that sometimes a lot

Someone even told me

That maybe I should get some help

Because I like spinning my own tales so much that

I forget which is real and which is not

I make mistakes

I do most things without thinking

I pretend to be grown up

But really, I am just a kid

I like dancing and crayons.

I like coloring with my mother

I like stickers and singing out of tune

I hate drama and cooties

I don’t like being close to people

But sometimes I like hugging

Sometimes I am scared

So terrified of myself that I let my secrets run away

With me and I spend years chasing them down

I am terrified of love. But I sort of love the feeling

I find that when I let someone in

I lie to push them away

I make up rumors

But I tell them only to myself

I generally like telling people the truth

I find they like me better that way

But sometimes I don’t

Just to make it interesting

I happen to think I am SOME ONE

With a purpose

But I find that I stumble

I trip over my words

And my foot has a terrible habit of ending up in my mouth

I like reading my books

But only for what they are worth

I live in a world of contradictions

I am never right

But I refuse to be wrong

One time I laughed so hard I cried

One time I cried so hard I laughed

I could tell you a thing or two about pain

If you had the chance to listen

I could give you a caring hug

Or stab you in the back

Which ever you prefer

I have a habit of telling people I love them

But that is only occasionally actually true

And if you'd give me half a second

Hi, I'm Julia Ann Falvey

I am sixteen years old

I listen to my iPod up one click too loud

I laugh at inappropriate moments

My favorite color is teal

I like long walks on the beach

And cuddling

And I'd love to get to know you

Wow We Are Old.

This coming year marks the 5th year of our friendship. (I just rewrote that sentence about 5 times, but it still does not sound any less awkward or cliche--oh well, deal with it). But wow, seriously, 5 years? That's a pretty long time...

We have been through a lot together--especially in middle school. And it's sad to see that we are slowly losing touch. I really do not want that to happen--and I know you do not either. We all share one thing in common: writing as a hobby. And so we can use that to stay JAK4. I think it'll just be nice to have somewhere and someone to "unload" to. I really miss you seeing you guys every day and all the amazing times we've shared. We keep saying we will change that and catch up--but it's easier said than done. I think this will help us get there though. And I hope you'll join me :]

Post when you can.

Much love <3